...a remake of Flash Gordon...especially on the big screen.
Hmmmm....let's see. How can we reimagine this?
Flash is an athlete on the road to redemption after his fall from grace with Alcohol addiction. He thinks that his (unshakable) cocky attitude is the way to win the ladies. He has an aspiration to be a great athlete yet again.
Dale is a late teenager who had to resort to prostitution to ford her way through life after her rebellious ways estranged her from her parents. She ends up on the same small jet with Flash during an effort to flee from her very abusive pimp. Despite her chosen profession, she rebuffs Flash's advances, unimpressed by his attitude.
Dr. Hans Zarkov is a Prozac addicted nutball/genius who manages to impress (an old pirate term) Flash, and the very leggy Dale into complicity with him after he rages on about the impending doom of the Earth, and his suspicions of outside forces at work. (Come to think of it...'cept for the Prozac part, everything else is spot on with Zarkov).
Ming the Merciless now presents audiences (those who feel that we are sophisticated enough to demand a backstory) a reason for his mad pursuit of conquest of the universe. It is actually a pre-emptive strike against the whole universe...when we learn that an alien race killed his father (who was actually quite the just and fair monarch). After marshalling his forces as the new ruler of Mongo, Ming managed to subjugate the race of his father's assassins. However, vengeance was not enough. Wishing to ensure that no further tragedy befalls his family, he sets out to conquer everyone, and does so quite efficiently. That which he cannot conquer...he destroys! It is during this campaign of terror that we learn of his descent into madness, and of his beautiful daughter's efforts to restore the father she once knew...although his sins leave him with much to pay for. Ming is the tragic villain. Someone whom we inexplicably feel sympathy for, even though he wants to conquer our butts! (In the militaristic sense, not the --ummm-- other sense.)
The special effects are over the top, with capital ships that rival the splendor of those from other films like Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica.
The story is as much a character study as it is an all out epic sci-fi action flick.
Well....there's a partial "re-imagining". (Don't fear, folks, I have a feeling that Stphen Sommers will treat this movie with respect. Everything I just wrote was a perversion of my imagination, to make you laugh. As Colonial Storyteller, it is my duty to entertain all y'all.
)
LOL
I remember vaguely the classic B/W episodes of Flash Gordon (as portrayed by Buster Crabbe). The ships on strings with sparklers for engines. The leotard costumes of the characters. I used to have the classic Gold Key comic in hardback.
I strongly remember the 1980 update. I loved the soundtrack, It was cool hearing Queen rock out the sci-fi genre. (Especially during the Hawkman assault on War Rocket Ajax.) As a kid, Flash Gordon the movie was cool (I also very much appreciated the beauties in Ornella Muti and Melody Anderson). General Kala was a definite butch who proably entertained "lesbian BDSM" activities when not working for Ming. (She was probably the only one who could get Ming to play a submissive to her domme. I could see Ming now: "Hit me again, General, and put some STANK on it!")
Of course, Max Von Sydow as Ming the Merciless is nothing short of priceless genius as he chews up the role.
As an adult, the movie is very cheesy. (Visually, audibly --except for the soundtrack, and dialogue wise.) However, it is still a fun romp to view on occasion.
Brian Blessed as Vultan was also a high point of the movie. He is always a strong presence in any film, or show. (His latest appearance that I am aware of is the voice of Boss Nass in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.)
And I guess I am one of the few people who appreciates Timothy Dalton as an actor. (On the other hand, my late mother had a crush on him...LOL) He ultimately portrayed my favorite incarnation of James Bond....much to the chagrin of Bond purists.
And did I mention the beautiful Ornella Muti and Melody Anderson? GRROWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, that's my descent into retro-madness for now,
Respectfully,
Martok2112