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January 14th, 2003, 10:05 PM
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#1
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Squadron Leader
 | Veteran | | | Fleets Warrior |
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 1,238
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Virus Alert!
If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 1-800 numbers.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
It will drink ALL your beer.
It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.
If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your Skim milk with whole milk.
******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *******
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to everyone.
If you are a blonde, this is a joke.
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January 15th, 2003, 07:56 AM
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#2
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Stablemaster, Livery Ship
 | Fleet Modertor | | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Wandering Indiana
Posts: 5,101
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That was funny. Here  not all of it was drunk after all.
__________________
"We feel free when we escape – even if it be but from the frying pan to the fire." Mozzie on White Collar
"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one." Malcolm Reynolds [/color]
"We don't dictate to countries, we liberate countries." Mitt Romney [/color]
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January 15th, 2003, 08:19 AM
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#3
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Bad Email Address
| Veteran | | | Fleets Warrior |
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Posts: 1,154
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January 22nd, 2003, 10:30 AM
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#4
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Squadron Leader
| Veteran | | | Fleets Warrior |
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 1,238
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Wanna hear something even funnier?
My sister was reading the part about the anti-freeze in the fish tank before she realized it was a joke.
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January 22nd, 2003, 02:21 PM
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#5
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Bad Email Address
| Veteran | | | Fleets Warrior |
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Posts: 1,154
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Well, LOL, up to that point..... it could be ALMOST beliveable.....   Does sound official..... |
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For fans of the Classic Battlestar Galactica series
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(I'm a blonde)
(it was funny)...here, have some
for the effort......you made me laugh.
