Clean joke of the day.

[Damocles]

Easter bunny jokes.

Q: What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A: A receding hare line.

[Damocles]

Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: Its been nice gnawing you.

[Damocles]

Q: What is the difference between a crazy rabbit and a counterfeit cent?
A: One is a mad bunny and the other is bad money.

[Damocles]

Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano?

Ans. He was playing by ear!

[Damocles]

Easter Bunny Joke Marathon.

Easter Bunny Jokes

Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

A. Bugs Bunny

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Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide the egg?

A. Because it was a little chicken.

[Damocles]

Q. What do you call a dumb Easter Bunny?

A. A hare brain.

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Q. Why can't an Easter Bunny's nose be twelve inches long?

A. Because then it would be a foot.

[Damocles]

Q. What do you call an egg laying rabbit who tells jokes?

A. A funny (as in weird) Easter Bunny.

[Dawg]

Knock, knock.

[Damocles]

Oh no!

Knock,knock.
Who's there?
Ether
Ether who?
Ether bunny.

[Damocles]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Juan
Juan who?
Juan more ether bunny.

[Damocles]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stella
Stella who?
Stella nother ether bunny.

[Damocles]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin other Ether Bunny.

[Damocles]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Samoa
Samoa who?
Samoa Ether Bunnies.

[Damocles]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Beryl
Beryl who?
Beryl of ether bunnies.

[Damocles]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dewey
Dewey who?
Dewey have to read any more ether bunny jokes?

[Damocles]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Consumption.
Consumption who?
Consumption be done about all these darned ether bunnies?

[Damocles]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo "beep, beep"...run over all the ether bunnies.

And that is the "pun"ishment I earned for starting to think about ether bunny knock knock jokes. I can't leave a pun alone.

[Dawg]

Well, you enlarged on the ether bunny knock-knock I was telling, but here's one more to close it out:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo, who?
Don't cry, ether bunny will be back again next year.

[Damocles]

Reasons I Still Believe in the Easter Bunny

1. Hey, I watch television. Every year, he's there clucking in the Cadbury egg commercials.

2. Who do you think delivers all the baskets and stuff, the little chicks? Doubtful.

3. When I was six, I saw a bunny at the scene of the crime. He put his finger aside his nose, and up the chimney he rose.

4. It was a little cafe somewhere in France, I was young, and yes, I believed everything he told me.

5. Someone is posing for those chocolate rabbit molds, and I think you're thinking what I'm thinking.

6. Who else has time to color all those eggs? Not me, Jack.

7. Yeah, and Peter Rabbit didn't think Mr. McGregor was going to catch him in the cabbage patch either -- get with the times.

8. I had a pet rabbit in the 4th grade, and he told me it was all true.

9. Once, I put a tooth under my pillow, and in the morning I had a marshmallow Easter egg.

10. Someone has to believe in the Easter bunny.

[Damocles]

Sunday, April 08, 2007
Easter Bunny Hunt
Deanna Troi is looking delighted; well she might, as the chocolate Easter eggs are about to be handed out.

This chocolate-mad Betazoid always goes for the extra-yummy GigaEgg.

"The ship has stopped." says Data, just as I am bringing in the bag of eggs, with Deanna already in pole position to grab the big egg.

"What is the reason, Mr Data." I ask.

"It would seem that a few vital components have gone missing from Engineering" he replies.

Suddenly there is a flash and I notice our uniforms have changed; we are all wearing yellow rabbit costumes. There is only one answer to this.

"Q!!!" I shout.

"You called, Jean-Luc?" Q answers as he appears, "My, oh, my, Starfleet uniforms do appear to have changed. Do you think you will charm you enemies wearing those?"

"You're responsible for these aren't you?" I reply angrily.

"Oh, go on, Jean-Luc, I confess." Q laughs, "It was me that put these charming bunny costumes on you. Don't forget it is Easter."

"I refuse to be dressed as an Easter Bunny!" declares Worf, "A Klingon warrior should not be seen like this."

"Nor should a Borg drone!" says Seven of Nine, "The Borg Queen shall hear of this!"

"Don't be party poopers you two!" teases Q, "Just enjoy the Easter celebrations."

I must admit inwardly I smiled at seeing Worf and Seven in yellow Easter Bunny outfits, though I would never tell Q that!

"Get us out of these uniforms right now, Q" I demand.

"Not before we have an Easter Treasure Hunt." he replies, "I've scattered the eggs around the ship and put a component in them. Take the eggs to Engineering and then the Enterprise engines will work again. You won't be able to go or get your uniforms back until you complete the task."

Q vanishes.

"What do we do now, Captain?" asks Geordi, who is carrying an egg basket with him.

"If we go out there, the crew will see us and we'll get laughed at." Riker reasons, "We'll never live it down."

"Perhaps we can confiine the crew to quarters?" suggests Bev.

"That's a good idea." I tell her, and begin to speak to the others in the ship on the intercom.

Nothing works.

"Q has even thought of that." Geordi says to himself, "We're going to have to go out there."

"I agree, Mr La Forge." I say, "Let's get it over with."

For the next half an hour, we are running around the ship carrying a basket each and looking for eggs. The crew stand by watching, with poorly suppressed giggles as I carry my Easter basket around. I find one in my sonic shower; Beverly finds one behind her monitor in the SickBay, Seven locates an egg in her alcove, Riker finds one in the donut machine, Deanna in Ten Forward, Geordi in The Sands.

Eventually all the others are found and Q reappears,

"Well done, Jean-Luc!" Q smiles, "You have a staff with a keen nose for chocolate, especially Counselor Troi."

Our uniforms appear back on.

"You've all done very well." Q continues, "As a little reward, you can all have three GigaEggs each."

They appear, much to the delight of Deanna, who seems to have forgotten everything around her, and has her eyes just on the GigaEggs.

"Until the next time, Jean-Luc..." Q says with a teasing smile....

Time to close this entry; I've got three eggs that need my attention.

Happy Easter!

https://jlpicard.blogspot.com/2007/04...unny-hunt.html

[Damocles]

[Damocles]

More Easter jokes.

Q: What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade?
A: Hot, cross bunnies.

Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around?
A: Hoppy Easter!

Q: What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in?
A: Mallardjusted.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and the Easter Bunny?
A: A good Easter.

Q: What do you call a duck who plays basketball?
A: A slam duck.

Q: Why was the rabbit rubbing his head?
A: Because he had a eggache! (headache)

Q: How do bunnies stay healthy?
A: Eggercise

Q: What does a rooster say to a hen he likes?
A: Your one hot chick!

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Q: What do you call ten rabbits running backwards?
A: A retreating hareline.

Q: What do ducks have for lunch?
A: Soup and quackers!

Q: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q: What do you call a bunny with a dictionary in his pants?
A: A smarty pants.

Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
A: An egghead.

Q: What would you call the Easter Bunny if he married a chicken?
A: The very first rabbit to lay an egg!

Q: Why are people always tired in April?
A: Because they just finished a long march

Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it.

[Damocles]

Q: How do you catch a unique bunny?
A: Unique up on it!!

Q: Why did the Easter egg hide?
A: He was a little chicken!

Q: What's the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.

Q: What do you call the Easter Bunny after a hard day's work?
A: Tired.

Q: Why did the Easter Bunny hop down the road?
A: He was making the movie.

Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: It's been nice gnawing at you.

Q: What did the bunny put over his sore?
A: A eggage.

Q: Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
A: Because he is eggocentric.

[Damocles]

Questions & Answers #4

Q: Where does Valentine's Day comes after Easter?
A: In the dictionary.

Q: Do you know how bunnies stay in shape?
A: Hareobics.

Q: How does the Easter Bunny say Happy Easter?
A: Hoppy Easter!

Q: Why is the letter A like a flower?
A: A bee comes after it

Q: What type of movie is about water fowl?
A: A duckumentary.

Q: What grows between your nose and chin?
A: Tulips.

Q: What is the end of Easter?
A: The letter R.

Q: What do you get when you find a rabbit with no hair?
A: A hairless hare!

[Damocles]

The Rules of Chocolate

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because no one wants to quit.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.

[Damocles]

Signs the Easter Bunny is Nuts

10. Neighbors describing him as "a quiet loner."

9. Removed from a department store last December after screaming at Santa, "You're going to die up there, fat man!"

8. Can't stop washing his paws.

7. Colorful eggs now filled with Prozac.

6. Apartment walls covered with photos of Sharon Stone.

5. Met with Dr. Kevorkian about the possibility of a "suicide egg."

4. Rotting corpse of Energizer bunny recently discovered in his crawl space.

3. Won't come out of his compound in Waco, Texas.

2. He's hippity-hopped up on crack.

1. Keeps rubbing himself for good luck.

[Damocles]

Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Easter

10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments".

9. You look really, really good in yellow.

8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge.

7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.

6. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.

5. It's a good time to check out your neighborhood church and not be noticed.

4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.

3. Even though you don't know what it is, you really like the sound of going to a "Passion Play."

2. You figured since Jesus went to all THAT trouble to make it to the first Easter, you'd give it a shot.

1. As a Christian you celebrate the resurrection every other day, why not Easter too?