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April 15th, 2005, 12:10 PM
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#61
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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any other feedback??? I am going to submit some poems to a contest.........I would love feedback. Thank you to those who have given me their choices already!
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April 15th, 2005, 12:34 PM
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#62
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Strike Leader
 | Fleet Moderator | | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Citrus Heights, CA
Posts: 3,544
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Joni -
I never knew you had such a dark side...
What style of poetry is that? I'm not an expert, that's why I'm asking.
Nice to see your face again!
Bryan
__________________
"When Commander Adama sees these, he's gonna go crazy!" - Col. Tigh - "Saga of a Star World"
"If you love long enough, wish hard enough, anything is possible" - From The Boy Who Could Fly
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April 15th, 2005, 02:13 PM
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#63
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Dallas
Posts: 277
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by julix
I have a favor to ask I am gonna submit 2 or 3 poems to a contest.......can I have some feedback on which ones you all think are the best????
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I am certainly no expert, but here are my three favorites:
#3 in post #28
Post # 34
Post # 47
Good luck in the contest...your work is excellent, and is certainly award-worthy. You have my thoughts and prayers in your endeavor. As they say in the theater world: “Break a leg!”
--JJR 
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April 16th, 2005, 06:31 AM
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#64
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gemini1999
Joni -
I never knew you had such a dark side...
What style of poetry is that? I'm not an expert, that's why I'm asking.
Nice to see your face again!
Bryan
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Ummmmmm,
Actually my poems surprize even my closest friends who have known me for 20 years....but not that I have a dark side per se.....but most all of these poems(I really don't know the style) came from the pain of loosing my father.......I was too young to express the pain as a child so in these words it helps me express the grief and loss.
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April 16th, 2005, 06:32 AM
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#65
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by justjackrandom
I am certainly no expert, but here are my three favorites:
#3 in post #28
Post # 34
Post # 47
Good luck in the contest...your work is excellent, and is certainly award-worthy. You have my thoughts and prayers in your endeavor. As they say in the theater world: “Break a leg!”
--JJR |
Thank you so much JJR for your kind words and your feedback! It means alot to me.
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April 16th, 2005, 01:42 PM
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#66
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 908
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Pretty Good
Excellent writing.
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April 16th, 2005, 01:52 PM
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#67
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Ireland
Posts: 5,115
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I will start reading again tomorrow . but the poam i remarked on is still my fav
__________________
Formally Taranis
My Blog
"The world is my country, science my religion.” 
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April 16th, 2005, 01:56 PM
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#68
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Ireland
Posts: 5,115
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by julix
Looking from the outside in
what appears?
I don't know what
the reflection shows
If the image were stable
instead of a flickering light
could it be then
a true statement
would be found
Searching for the light
a way to make things
make sense
seem complete
comming together
to create a harmony
never before
felt or seen
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This is another contender That I enjoy and mirrors what many people feel
__________________
Formally Taranis
My Blog
"The world is my country, science my religion.”
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April 20th, 2005, 05:06 PM
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#69
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by cobrastrikelead
Excellent writing.
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Thank you Cobrastrikelead!
I really appreciate the feedback!
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April 20th, 2005, 05:08 PM
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#70
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Taranis
This is another contender That I enjoy and mirrors what many people feel
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Thanks Taranis for looking them over again, it means a lot to me! My heart and soul are in these words which capture a very dark time for me. it defines the loss of my father as a child. I had someone tell me maybe the reason I like BG(tos) is because of Lorne Green's Adama who is such a great father figure. I think it might be true, I always felt safe with him and knew he would find earth someday!
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April 23rd, 2005, 07:44 AM
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#71
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 908
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Seems only right
today that your stuff should be at the top of the page.
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April 23rd, 2005, 06:41 PM
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#72
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by cobrastrikelead
today that your stuff should be at the top of the page.
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awwww,
thank you! That made my day
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April 28th, 2005, 07:21 PM
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#73
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Formerly Warrior
The Lone Wolf
 | Owner: | | | Colonial Fleets | | | 3D Gladiators | | | Former Webmaster: | | | BattlestarGalactica.com | | | RichardHatch.com | | | GreatWarofMagellan.com | | | Web Tech: | | | LauretteSpang.com | | | DirkBenedictCentral.com | | | TombsofKobol.com |
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: In my Cobra v2
Posts: 5,094
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Hey julix, a writing challenge for ya- A poem about this -> 
__________________
LoneWolf Grafix- Web Design and CGI
"If not for the original Battlestar Galactica series , then there would be no new show."
"If not for the original ST series, then there would be no ST movies, TNG, DS9, Voyager or 'Enterprise'."
"Legends never die... They just get new Captains."
"Respect the past. It brought you the present."
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April 28th, 2005, 07:31 PM
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#74
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Your challenge limit may be up Warrior.............  |
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April 28th, 2005, 07:34 PM
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#75
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Formerly Warrior
The Lone Wolf
| Owner: | | | Colonial Fleets | | | 3D Gladiators | | | Former Webmaster: | | | BattlestarGalactica.com | | | RichardHatch.com | | | GreatWarofMagellan.com | | | Web Tech: | | | LauretteSpang.com | | | DirkBenedictCentral.com | | | TombsofKobol.com |
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: In my Cobra v2
Posts: 5,094
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__________________
LoneWolf Grafix- Web Design and CGI
"If not for the original Battlestar Galactica series , then there would be no new show."
"If not for the original ST series, then there would be no ST movies, TNG, DS9, Voyager or 'Enterprise'."
"Legends never die... They just get new Captains."
"Respect the past. It brought you the present."
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April 29th, 2005, 07:08 AM
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#76
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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here are a couple I wrote awhile ago.......
An endless trickle of water
Down the stream of life
Always changing
Always ebbing and flowing
Sometimes bright and happy
Sometimes cold and stormy
But always evolving
As day into night
Night into day
and........
As a butterfly is first
Coming out of it’s cocoon
Full of ooze and fear
Unsure of the next stage
Clinging to a life
It has always known
There is a moment when
It comes down to faith
And instinct, beyond the mind
Where it must let go
Of the old shell and break out to a new life
Just as death is the next step
An evolution in the stage of life
Unknown
Cold
Dark
But I wonder
Can it be beautiful ?
Calm
Peaceful
Free of physical pain
And free from suffering
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June 3rd, 2005, 04:27 AM
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#77
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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it has been awhile since I wrote any poems.............
I think I am having writers block.............darn it.
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June 3rd, 2005, 05:40 AM
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#78
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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ok.....just saying that helped....but these are ideas
A breathe held
everytime one of them
walks out the door
will it come again?
the nameless faceless
cloud which
envelopes
and shatters
which tears
breaks and
leaves
complete darkness
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June 3rd, 2005, 05:43 AM
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#79
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Standing on a line
not sure which
way to step
frozen infear
pondering all
the emotions
thoughts
carefully
I walk the line
mindful
of all
I have
and
all I can lose
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June 3rd, 2005, 07:23 AM
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#80
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,692
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very good!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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June 3rd, 2005, 07:56 AM
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#81
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Thanks BSG.....it is always good to see you!
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June 3rd, 2005, 08:01 AM
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#82
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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The whole is splintered
into shattered pieces
of a broken heart
which will not mend
never to come together
unfulfilled
scarred
torn
Impossible to heal
magnets of time
can't pull the pieces
whole again
no amount
no measure
no pleasure
only pieces
left undone
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June 3rd, 2005, 12:28 PM
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#83
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,692
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keep it coming!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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June 5th, 2005, 05:48 AM
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#84
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Water memories
clear, stable water
life giving water
to be around it is to remember
a clear blue body
a mountain setting
so many times happy
flashes in the mind's eye
and in my soul
drawn back through time
pieces, fragments of time
some so filled with complete
joy
Untill
a break in time
a loss so complete
starring at the calm waters
I see the darkness
that is below the surface
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June 6th, 2005, 06:50 AM
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#85
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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ooooooooo,
the picture sent for this threadlooks good yes?
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June 6th, 2005, 03:45 PM
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#86
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,242
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Very deep Julix, very profound. That one about heartbreak and loss is the one I most felt touched by, but I still have more to read.
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July 8th, 2005, 05:33 PM
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#87
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Pain
so intense my heart
is pounding
I feel dizzy
disconnected
lost and alone
the pain
mutiplies it seems
no escape
I can't think
my heart pounds so
I want to run
but know there is
no where I can go
that the pain won't find me
again
and again
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July 8th, 2005, 07:50 PM
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#88
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Vancouver, Wa USA
Posts: 1,874
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I know of which you speak.
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July 11th, 2005, 05:35 AM
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#89
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by repcisg
I know of which you speak.
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Then you may need a hug...................(((((((((((((((((rep)))))))))))))))))) I will give ya one anyway!
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July 11th, 2005, 10:42 AM
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#90
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Vancouver, Wa USA
Posts: 1,874
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Thank you Julix,
We tend to write of that we know,
so just for you ...................(((((((((((((((((Julix))))))))))))))))))
from me.
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