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December 23rd, 2003, 04:18 AM
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#61
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,692
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lol
Another joke about marriage:
A husband and wife had a very bitter arguement. Neither were speaking to each other for a while. One night the husband suddenly remembers that he has planned to go fishing with his buddies the next morning and he needs to have an early wake up call. He writes a note to his wife to wake him up for 5 a.m. The next morning he wakes up and its 9 a.m. Furious that he missed the trip he yells at his wife: "why didn't you wake me up at 5." His wife calmly points to the note she left on his pillow. "Its 5 a.m., Wake Up!"
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Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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December 23rd, 2003, 09:47 AM
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#62
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Warrior Ace
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: N.Little Rock,Ark
Posts: 901
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God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. God this is sooo true, and thank-you GOD!
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December 23rd, 2003, 01:33 PM
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#63
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,692
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Yup! Without women men would be totally lost. I remind my sweetie of this every night. He actually agrees with it. Because without me he would be lost!
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Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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December 23rd, 2003, 10:04 PM
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#64
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Galactica's Space Angel
| Administrator | | BG & LotR Forum |
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 152
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Quote:
Originally posted by bsg1fan1975
lol
Another joke about marriage:
A husband and wife had a very bitter arguement. Neither were speaking to each other for a while. One night the husband suddenly remembers that he has planned to go fishing with his buddies the next morning and he needs to have an early wake up call. He writes a note to his wife to wake him up for 5 a.m. The next morning he wakes up and its 9 a.m. Furious that he missed the trip he yells at his wife: "why didn't you wake me up at 5." His wife calmly points to the note she left on his pillow. "Its 5 a.m., Wake Up!"
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Funny!
__________________
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA CLUB II
Dedicated to The Orignial Battlestar Galactica Club that Nathan founded...
All Battlestar Galactica Fans Welcome!!!!!!
Have you seen my viper I forgot where I park it !
Parking tickets i laugh at them..Hahahaha
Come join Battlestar Orion or Battlestar Galactica Club II a new forum all is welcome New and old Battlestar Galactica fans....
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December 25th, 2003, 04:35 PM
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#65
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Muff Daggy
| Owner: | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Beaver Hollow, TN
Posts: 3,900
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Okay, I just gotta lighten my sad Christmas mood with a eh-em, colorful joke, since the movie comes out today I believe...(I apologize if its PG-13)...
Why didn't the Cat in the Hat consummate his marriage on his wedding night?
???
He couldn't decide between Thing 1 and Thing 2...
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December 28th, 2003, 11:21 AM
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#66
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Dancing Viper Queen
| Veteran | | Fleets Warrior |
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 651
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LIBERALS, CONSERVATIVES, AND SOUTHERNERS
How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners? Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,
raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a GlGlock40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the GlGlock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a pain! t ! and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer :
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click . . . . (sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?
==================================
Okay, you Southerners, hold on a minute. This was sent to me by a good ol' Southern Boy....
ojai22
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I have my own little place, but it's okay. They know me here.
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January 7th, 2005, 12:17 AM
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#67
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: New London, OH
Posts: 3,030
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Before you beat me up for this, I should point out, I didn't make this up, it's just something I read on a bathroom wall. And if someone has already posted it, I apologize for the repeat.
What is the difference between a women yelling at the front door, and a dog barking at the back door?
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When you let the dog in, it'll shut up!
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January 7th, 2005, 12:23 AM
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#68
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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THWACK!!
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January 7th, 2005, 12:25 AM
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#69
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: New London, OH
Posts: 3,030
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January 7th, 2005, 05:58 AM
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#70
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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This is revenge for all the blonde jokes I have been subjected to in my lifetime:
What is the difference between a brunette and a trash can?
At least the trash can gets taken out once a week!
__________________
.
Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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January 7th, 2005, 02:14 PM
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#71
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Hey I'm a brunette!
Thwacks Uno!
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September 23rd, 2011, 11:36 PM
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#72
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Wenatchee, Soviet of WA., Ex U.S.A.
Posts: 4,491
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Re: Jokes
Why was Adam created first?
So he could finish a sentence.
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Populos stultus viris indignas honores saepe dat. -Horace
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Fortuna est caeca. -Cicero
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"You know the night before was a tough one when even the sound of the fizz hurts your head." -Mike Hammer.
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September 24th, 2011, 12:05 AM
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#73
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Colonial Story Teller
| Fleet Moderator | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Orleans (Metairie), LA
Posts: 4,785
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Re: Jokes
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all sitting down in a hospital, talking about their pregnancies, and what they're expecting.
The brunette says: "We're gonna have a boy, because my man was on top!"
All the girls giggle and high-five.
The red head says: "We'll we're gonna have a girl because I was on top!"
The girls look impressed and emboldened...high fiving... yeah Girl Power!
The blonde breaks down and cries. When asked by her friends what was wrong, she replies: "We're gonna have puppies!"
(runs....hides)
__________________
Don't be a fan. Don't be a victim!-Martok2112
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September 24th, 2011, 12:09 AM
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#74
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Wenatchee, Soviet of WA., Ex U.S.A.
Posts: 4,491
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Re: Jokes
Why do 4 out of 5 blondes prefer tilt steering wheels?
More head room.
__________________
Populos stultus viris indignas honores saepe dat. -Horace
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Fortuna est caeca. -Cicero
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"You know the night before was a tough one when even the sound of the fizz hurts your head." -Mike Hammer.
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October 21st, 2011, 03:16 AM
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#75
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Wenatchee, Soviet of WA., Ex U.S.A.
Posts: 4,491
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Re: Jokes
What do you call the fuel regulator on a Viper engine?
A felcer-carb!
__________________
Populos stultus viris indignas honores saepe dat. -Horace
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Fortuna est caeca. -Cicero
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"You know the night before was a tough one when even the sound of the fizz hurts your head." -Mike Hammer.
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October 21st, 2011, 04:12 AM
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#76
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,692
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Re: Jokes
lol
you guys sure know how to liven up a gal's day!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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