I know nothing of poetry. I confess my ignorance too the world. But I'm going to land you with the only poem I really remember from school. It's 'To a Haggis' by Scotland's national bard Robert Burns, a fellow Ayrshireman!
Address to a Haggis.
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!
Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.
Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.
Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!
There you go then! Do you know that when I was a lad at school, I had to stand infront of the whole class, holding a big carving knife, and read that whole poem out loud to an actuall haggis! Then I had too eat the bloody haggis with turnips & tatties! Do you know what is in a haggis?
I honestlly beleve that that mouthfull of sheeps innards scarred my brain, and put me off poetry for good.
Which is a pity, because I hear it's a great way to chat up the ladies!
Anyway, I hoped somebody liked it because I suffered for that piece of 220 year old art!
BRG