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October 12th, 2004, 09:28 PM
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#1
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Stablemaster, Livery Ship
| Fleet Modertor | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Wandering Indiana
Posts: 5,101
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Discussion for Jal's Journal
I keep reading this as it unfolds and just want to comment back to you (and encourage others comments too.)
This is quite a compelling story that you are unfolding. To read it in sort of a serialized form (much as many of Dickens' novels originally appeared as) is neat. You said it would be a background piece for your EDF universe....I would really love to see the EDF and the other originally based in the colonies novel you'd started (the one with Del) be your own series of books, not dependent on anyone's OK or license. They are wonderful stories and what reference there was to life in the colonies could take another form and be completely your own. (Who knows, maybe someone would fall in love with it as a kid, grow up and make a real movie of it--stranger things have happened!
Keep writing, please!
Jewels
__________________
"We feel free when we escape – even if it be but from the frying pan to the fire." Mozzie on White Collar
"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one." Malcolm Reynolds [/color]
"We don't dictate to countries, we liberate countries." Mitt Romney [/color]
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October 13th, 2004, 12:30 AM
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#2
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Vancouver, Wa USA
Posts: 1,874
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Thank you,
thank you,
thank you, Jewels!
I’ve had a strong positive comment from Dawg recently, and yours reinforces my desire to continue. And by all means please make comments. I’ve tried very hard to keep the story moving while building a foundation world that seems close enough to be real. I’ve also tried to keep the science based on known facts, I studied glaciation in collage, even dugout an old paper I wrote on the subject (got a B).
It is my plan to modify the other stories, to fit the foundation I’m laying here. I’ve dozens of stories I’ve written over the years that can be modified to fit this universe. The big problem is getting them all organized and picking which stories would work and which to do first.
The story of Del will be based on the second colony launched in the story Jal is writing about. I need to do some modifications to it, mostly in terminology and at this point it needs a name I can propagate through the story of Del. The basic story of what happens to the escorts is done, it needs tightening and modified to the fit the second colony, the ending will surprise you.
I have an initial opening and rough out line for the first colony, the Emerald world. Right now it opens with the initial contact between the people of Emerald and survivors of colony 2 (remember the right wing at Cimtar ). But I also have some ideas for the initial landing and establishment of the colony that need exploring. Much more work to do here.
Between Jal’s Journal and the EDF is the ETLF war, this lays the foundation for the EDF and why it is there. When originally thinking about the EDF it occurred to me the people in the ship of light, would not send the colonial survivors to an Earth that could not defend itself. So I looked about for a prequel that would explain why the EDF exists and has the power to fight back. Admiral Lee has made a couple of references to it. In fact I worked on a piece of it today. Tamara Lee is going to play a stronger roll than I had originally planned.
Personally I’m having far too much fun with all this. The next four pages are ready, with five more on the factory floor. Right now, if I were to publish Jal’s Journal it would be about 90 pages, the current outline will add at least that much again.
Well that is enough for now, but please do comment on Jals journal.
Robert
(Repcisg)
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November 1st, 2004, 11:39 AM
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#3
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Stablemaster, Livery Ship
| Fleet Modertor | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Wandering Indiana
Posts: 5,101
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Like how it's going. The colony ship launch was very cool!
btw, what does Etlf stand for?
Jewels
__________________
"We feel free when we escape – even if it be but from the frying pan to the fire." Mozzie on White Collar
"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one." Malcolm Reynolds [/color]
"We don't dictate to countries, we liberate countries." Mitt Romney [/color]
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November 1st, 2004, 03:39 PM
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#4
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Vancouver, Wa USA
Posts: 1,874
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Again many thanks!
Etlf = Extra Terrestrial Life Form
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November 1st, 2004, 04:07 PM
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#5
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Great Wise Guru
| Admin | | ColonialFleets.com | | Co-Owner | | TombsofKobol.com | | Owner/Webmaster | | DirkBenedictCentral.com | | Co-Founder | | Colonial Fan Force |
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Pacific Northwest, USA
Posts: 5,009
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I look forward to each page. Keep 'em coming!
I am
Dawg
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November 9th, 2004, 05:43 PM
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#6
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Stablemaster, Livery Ship
| Fleet Modertor | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Wandering Indiana
Posts: 5,101
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The avalanche was well done....I like how it wasn't revealed what was happening right away. I thought it was going to be an earthquake!
The frozen lake was sad. But that the 4 missing survived: excellent! The story needed that moment of hope so that it didn't become dismal at that point.
__________________
"We feel free when we escape – even if it be but from the frying pan to the fire." Mozzie on White Collar
"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one." Malcolm Reynolds [/color]
"We don't dictate to countries, we liberate countries." Mitt Romney [/color]
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November 9th, 2004, 09:34 PM
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#7
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Vancouver, Wa USA
Posts: 1,874
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Thank you, I was worried things were getting too dark.
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November 15th, 2004, 03:22 PM
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#8
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Vancouver, Wa USA
Posts: 1,874
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The journal is now approching 500 viewings, all I can say is WOW and thanks for the support! It has been at times hard to keep it moving, and at times I know it slowed a bit, but as a back ground story I need to do some exploring. Things should lighten up a bit in the next couple of releases too, I think I've done enough of the dark side for a while.
On a side note Jal's Journal is now about 2/3 the length of a small book.
Please your comments and observations are always welcome.
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November 17th, 2004, 10:40 AM
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#9
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Vancouver, Wa USA
Posts: 1,874
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The journal has now passed the 500 viewings mark, what can I say, thank you one and all for staying with the story. Though most have not made any comments, the fact you are following it says a lot. I find this very encouraging and will continue to publish my writing here for your enjoyment.
For our other authors, I find publishing here a great way to force myself to write. To stay on top of the story. So give it a try, it’s really great fun.
Publishing here does not mean you are throwing your copyright away, just the opposite. In fact because it is published here and date/time stamped you have proof of when it was first published.
So lets see some new stories.
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