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June 14th, 2004, 04:34 PM
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#1
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Muff Daggy
 | Owner: | | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Beaver Hollow, TN
Posts: 3,900
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The Dead Duck...
The Dead Duck
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried,"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan........"
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June 14th, 2004, 05:48 PM
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#2
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Major
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Utah
Posts: 5,693
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 :laugh: 
that was great, thanks |
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June 14th, 2004, 05:55 PM
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#3
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Muffit
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 I don't know that was pretty bad! BIG groan! are you looking for a thwack perhaps??? 
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June 23rd, 2004, 12:17 PM
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#4
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,692
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Oh man, that was a bad pun if I ever saw one!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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June 24th, 2004, 06:51 PM
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#5
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 12,939
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Muffit
The Dead Duck
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried,"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan........"
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June 24th, 2004, 07:47 PM
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#6
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Among the 13th tribe....
Posts: 4,579
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That was great! 
__________________
" KEEPING THE FAITH"
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June 29th, 2004, 03:45 AM
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#7
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,692
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well there is only one thing the lady can do with the duck. pluck the feathers and cook it!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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