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April 11th, 2009, 07:35 PM
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#781
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you call a bird that lives underground ?
A mynah bird !
How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens ?
Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl !
Which birds steal soap from the bath ?
Robber ducks !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:35 PM
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#782
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Where do birds invest their money ?
In the stork market !
Where do blind sparrows go for treatment ?
The Birds Eye counter !
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?
A bird that talks in morse code !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:36 PM
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#783
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What happens when ducks fly upside down ?
They quack up !
What happened when the owl lost his voice ?
He didn't give a hoot !
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:37 PM
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#784
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede ?
A great walkie-talkie !
What do you get if your budgie flies into the blender ?
Shredded Tweet !
What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish ?
Tweetie Pie !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:39 PM
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#785
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ?
Jail-birds !
Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ?
Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !
What did the gamekeeper say to the lord of the manor ?
'The pheasants are revolting' !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:41 PM
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#786
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What is the definition of Robin ?
A bird who steals !
For some strang reason now will indulge Carabou jokes!
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April 11th, 2009, 07:43 PM
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#787
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
First Caribou: Did you hear the joke about the rotten dinosaur eggs?
Second Caribou: No.
First Caribou: Two bad.
First Caribou: Did you hear about the ten tons of woolly mammoth hair that was stolen from the wig-maker today?
Second Caribou: No, I haven't.
First Caribou: The police are now combing the area.
First Caribou: How do you stop a dinosaur from biting his nails?
Second Caribou: I give up.
First Caribou: Pull his foot out of his mouth
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April 11th, 2009, 07:44 PM
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#788
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
First Caribou: Ask me if I'm a rabbit.
Second Caribou: Okay. Are you a rabbit?
First Caribou: Yes, I'm a rabbit. Now ask me if I'm a caribou.
Second Caribou: I'm game, are you a Caribou?
First Caribou: No, silly. I told you I'm a rabbit.
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
First Caribou: What kind of bears like to go out in the rain?
Second Caribou: Drizzly bears.
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April 11th, 2009, 07:45 PM
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#789
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
First Caribou: What do snake charmers wear around their necks?
Second Caribou: Boaties.
First Caribou: What do snakes learn in school?
Second Caribou: Reading, writhing and arithmetic.
First Caribou: What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind?
Second Caribou: A maybee.
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April 11th, 2009, 07:46 PM
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#790
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
First Caribou: What well-known cartoon character do moths like a hole lot?
Second Caribou: Micky Moth!
First Caribou: How can you make a tarantula shake?
Second Caribou: Run up behind it and say, BOO!
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?
Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
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April 11th, 2009, 07:47 PM
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#791
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up trash?
Second Caribou: The litterbug.
First Caribou: Where do cows go for lunch?
Second Caribou: The calfeteria.
First Caribou: What do you call two spiders who just got married?
Second Caribou: Newlywebs.
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April 11th, 2009, 07:50 PM
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#792
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
First Caribou: What do you get when you cross a frog with a can of soda?
Second Caribou: Croak-a-cola.
First Caribou: Why does the giraffe have such a long neck?
Second Caribou: Because his head is so far from his body!
Now cat jokes.
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April 11th, 2009, 07:50 PM
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#793
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Meow!
What looks like half a cat ?
The other half !
What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ?
She had mittens !
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?
A carrot !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:51 PM
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#794
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
How do cats eat spaghetti ?
The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!
What is a French cat's favourite pudding ?
Chocolate mousse !
What do cat actors say on stage ?
Tabby or not tabby !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:51 PM
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#795
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?
I'm paw !
How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold ?
He has cat-arrh !
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling ?
She's got that down in the mouth look !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:52 PM
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#796
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ?
An animal that puts you out a night !
What do you do with a blue Burmese ?
Try and cheer it up a bit !
What is the cat's favourite TV show ?
The evening mews !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:53 PM
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#797
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What's worse than raining cats and dogs ?
Hailing taxi cabs !
How is cat food sold ?
Usually purr can !
What noise does a cat make going down the highway ?
Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:54 PM
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#798
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you get if cross a cat with a canary ?
Shredded tweet !
What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have ?
A catastrophe !
What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ?
A cat-a-logue !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:55 PM
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#799
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ?
An octopuss !
Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !
Who was the most powerful cat in China ?
Chairman Miaow !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:55 PM
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#800
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ?
A sourpuss !
What is cleverer than a talking cat ?
A spelling bee !
What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary ?
A peeping tom !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:56 PM
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#801
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
They never cry over spilt milk !
What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas ?
Santa Claws !
Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house ?
Because she heard fowl language !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:56 PM
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#802
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left ?
None. They were all copy cats !
What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea ?
A catameringue !
Why do tomcats fight ?
Because they like raising a stink !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:57 PM
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#803
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit ?
They are both ginger nuts !
What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck ?
A duck filled fatty puss !
What kind of cat should you take into the desert ?
A first aid kitty !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:58 PM
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#804
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Why do cats chase birds ?
For a lark !
What do cats read in the morning ?
Mewspapers !
On what should you mount a statue of your cat ?
A caterpillar !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:58 PM
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#805
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
How is a cat laying down like a coin ?
Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other !
What cat purrs more than any other ?
Purrsians !
How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters ?
C-A-T !
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April 11th, 2009, 07:59 PM
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#806
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?
A Peking Tom !
Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge ?
Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !
When the cat's away.....?
The house smells better !
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April 11th, 2009, 08:00 PM
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#807
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Why was the cat so small ?
Because it only ate condensed milk !
Why did the cat cross the road ?
It was the chicken's day off !
What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws ?
An acrocat !
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April 11th, 2009, 08:01 PM
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#808
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?
Puss in boots !
What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?
A purrfect meal !
What is another way to describe a cat ?
A heat seeking missile !
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April 11th, 2009, 08:02 PM
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#809
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese ?
He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath !
Why are cars longer in the evening than they are in the morning?
Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !
Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ?
There was some money in the kitty !
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April 11th, 2009, 08:04 PM
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#810
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Bad Email Address
The Last Person
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 10,713
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Why did the cat sleep under the car ?
Because she wanted to wake up oily !
What is the difference between these jokes and a smelly gym sock?
The gym sock doesn't stink as much.
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For fans of the Classic Battlestar Galactica series
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